Story called Life!

Sometimes it gets hard to 

Put ink on paper.

Not because my mind is numb,

Or because my heart is healing,

But because I conceal more

Than I express nowadays.

My smiles are now holding back my tears,

Not because I've got reasons,

To be happy or to laugh,

But because I can't cry for

The same reasons anymore,

I don't have dreams now,

Not because all are broken,

But because seeing new ones

Requires some learning before.

So I'm learning,

To drive out all my hatred that

Was injected in me, that

Self harm couldn't eliminate.

I'm learning,

To wear a shield of self love, tolerance & ignorance

Before getting exposed to false accuses & criticism.

I'm forgetting,

The sound, the smell and the touch

Of an old lover, who is toxic

And that choked the peace out of me.

I'm forgetting his existence.

I'm forgiving,

My young self, who was blind in love.

And desperate & wild.

The young free bird whose wings were

Enormous, colorful

& she flew all above the sky.

And all along,

I'm trying,

To trust my mind , to build walls

Around my fragile heart.

To be cautious before listening to someone

Who wants my back to ride when I fly.

So, I'll be patient

With this journey of learning,

To choose wisely what things I should put

On my paper & what I shouldn't write

In my story called life.

                                      ~SN